A professional football team is torn between two potential top draft picks: charismatic multiethnic finesse machine Lave Dash and salt-of-the-earth muscle monster Mervin Gufflinson the First. Making the crazy decision to draft them both causes a media meltdown that changes the game. And all sports. And the whole world. And the entire space-time continuum. Featuring an all-female cast and an all-star collection of fake moustaches and wigs, this world premiere is an uproarious comedy about America’s obsession with football, the joys of masculinity, and the consequences of having our idols do exactly what we want them to do.

WHY SEE THIS SHOW:  Tony Nominee (for HELL’S KITCHEN, the Alicia Keys musical), Pulitzer Prize Finalist, and writer of SHOOTS starring Jason D. Johnson for our Long Story Short program during COVID, Kristoffer Diaz turns his focus on a unique ability of his: getting to the heart of why people love a certain sport and the absurdity of spectacle. It’s a celebration of football and of the theater of football (a very theatrical sport). It’s a play in which people play dozens of characters all with incredibly dumb names. It satirizes the media’s insatiable desire to make every story the biggest, most incredible, world-changing story by giving it world-changing possibilities.

Kris Diaz is VERY funny with character-based dialogue and even funnier with the bigger picture: an ability to pierce through the hyper masculine sports entertainment world with alarmingly sharp wit. Do you love football? This is for you to laugh with. Do you hate football? This is for you to laugh at. It’s big, it’s silly, it will be like watching a marathon with six performers playing dozens of characters in increasingly absurd situations wearing increasingly absurd mustaches or hats or costumes or all three.

WHO SHOULD SEE THIS SHOW?  If you enjoyed PRIDE & PREJUDICE, THE 39 STEPS, IMPORTANT HATS OF THE 20TH CENTURY, or  “Key & Peele” (specifically the “East/West Bowl” sketch).

Sponsored By //

Ruth & John Mansure

Mansure & Co

Rick and Malinda Morris

BUY TICKETS! DON'T FUMBLE!

Please review our policies & guidelines before purchasing your tickets.

Football Cast //

Caroline Jane Davis

Warehouse Debut

Ellie MacPherson

Warehouse Debut

Kelseigh Redmon

The Game

Courtney Sims

The Wolves, The Legend of Georgia McBride

Maddie Tisdel

Witch, The Rocky Horror Show

Elexious West

The Wolves

Football Creative //

Will Lowry

Scenic

Jessica Johnson

Costumes

Kevin Frazier

Lights

Amanda Sox

Props

Joshua Nguyen

Sound

Louise Ochart

Stage Manager

FOOTBALL x 4 EVENTS //

Featured SeasonArt Series Lobby Artist
Rattlesnake Collective

I Pay What I Can Performance 
Sponsored by The Hammond Family.
Sunday, June 7th – Tickets go on sale at 2:00p.  Show starts at 3p.

Student & Educator Preview
Wednesday, June 3rd at 8p.  Discounted tickets can be bought in advance via the box office or at the door starting at 7:00p evening of show.

Talkback
After the I Pay What I Can performance on Sunday, June 7th, we will host a talkback about FOOTBALL X 4.  Open & free to everyone.